Private Conversation between Husband and wife is the procedure before disclosing the issue to any beside two of you only, even those who stay in the same house must not know, this conversation is so private ,it takes place in the bedroom behind closed doors if necessary to avoid any third party to intervene without consent of the two married couples. So this private conversation takes place immediately as soon as there is anything disturbing either of the two with following guidance:
- The problem causing discomfort misunderstanding must be in accordance with Sharia.
- The one who is feeling discomfort about actions of the other must start the conversation and the other must listen. If is the wife has a discomfort, the husband must listen carefully to her until she finish her statement of any kind of accusation.
- according to Sharia,clear explanation must begin with asking for sincere forgiveness saying” I am sorry i never do it,it happened by a mistake,or am not aware of what your saying.
- Avoid prolonging private conversation,must be kept shot and brief.
- Its better to wait until when both husband and wife go to bed,there after they can start talking privately after closing their door to sleep.
- Husband and wife are given first option to resolve misunderstanding between each other , the husband takes lead in asking his wife aiming at understanding each other, if she explain the problem or mistake and ask for forgiveness, its mandatory for the husband to accept her request and pardon her with respect, love and care.
- If She is not a person who is understanding her mistake and continue to misbehave, the husband must be serious to an extent of punishing her physically with caution of not causing physical abuse on her that may develop a scar on her body or inflict pain even after argument is settled. The Sharia guides that husband use a soft cloth to express his unsatisfactory with her actions aiming at her face, if she becomes aggressive emotionally he must hold her and console her to calm down.
- If She Obeys the Husband, its forbidden to prolong blaming her about the same thing that may ignite old fire and start fighting again.
- Avoid exposing what was discussed in private to any one even with the consent of the other. Any matter discussed in private and resolved in private must be kept private forever even if the same comes is discussed again in Public, never disclose what was discussed in private to any public discussion even with permission of the other.